We all want to raise kind and confident kids. Here are five positive things to say to your kids every day to make them feel loved, valued, and important!
Life becomes a whirlwind sometimes, doesn’t it?
I often have to remind myself to live mindfully and with purpose instead of just going through the motions of the day-to-day. This is especially true of my interactions with my kids.
I have three kids under four, and they live life with such zest! Every tiny thing about their day is so exciting and in turn makes me excited and happy. They are such blessings.
I am so conscious of what I say to them and about them. I’m definitely not perfect and I have said things I haven’t meant before, who hasn’t? We’re all a work in progress.
Don’t get me wrong, we all have days where we’re cranky, grumpy, and just not in the mood to “mom.” It’s important to remember that our kids have those days, too! We can’t expect perfection from them just because they’re little. They’re human like the rest of us.
Regardless of how our day is going, I always try to say these 5 things to my kids every day. Even if they’re exceptionally energetic, annoying, cranky, happy, sad…you name it! On their worst days and their best days, they need unconditional love, empathy and acceptance.
I hope to raise little people into kind, compassionate, and loving adults. My goal is that their childhood is happy and is a strong foundation for whatever trials and hardships come their way. They can always be confident that Mom is in their corner to help make their life a little easier. Saying these positive things to my children daily helps them know that I am always there to life them up when they’re feeling down.
5 positive things to say to your child every day (that will help them become a kind and confident adult!)
I’m proud of you
And I also ask them if they are proud of themselves! I want my kids to know that when they do something good, big or small, they should feel proud.
Whether it’s getting dressed by themselves, doing their chores, sharing their favorite toy with their friend, or working really hard on a craft, I want my kids to feel like they’ve done a good thing. It is very important to me that they feel like hard work is rewarded!
I love you (and I like you)
This one seems simple enough, but how often do you tell your kids you love them and like them?
We all love our kids, but we need to be sure they know it. If we don’t tell them (and show them) then it may be hard for them to understand.
In my opinion, this is one of the most important things to say to your child every day.
I also make it a point to tell them what it is exactly that I love about them. You can tell your kids you love how kind they are, how smart they are, how thoughtful they are, etc. Just make sure to tell them (and show them!)
I also tell my kids how much I like to be with them and spend time with them. Even if my head is distracted by my long to-do list, I want my kids to hear me say that spending time with them is important to me.
You’re so _______
Fill in the blanks with something positive!
“You’re so funny, I love all your jokes!”
“That’s a beautiful painting! You’re so creative.”
“I love cuddling with you. You’re so special to me!”
Watching them light up as they recognize their unique and positive traits is priceless. My kids have adorable, big personalities and helping them identify what makes them special boosts their confidence!
The other big benefit to highlighting your child’s strength is that they use the same language to define others. For example, my three year old will tell her friends they are kind and sweet when they share toys with her. I love that she helps build confidence in others!
I want to hear about your day
If I’m not with my kids, I genuinely want to hear all about their experiences! Showing interest in your child’s day is a great way to connect. I love learning about how they perceive and interact with their world.
If my daughter has a hard time deciding what to share about preschool, for example, I start by asking about which friends she played with. She also loves to share if she learned something new!
Every night I ask my daughter what her favorite part of the day was. It’s so cute to hear what she has to say because sometimes her answer is different from what I expected. Sometimes I ask her if there was anything she didn’t like about her day. This gives us an opportunity to talk through what she’s feeling and I can help her make sense of those big emotions she experiences.
I’m sorry for ______
Guess what? Parents make mistakes, too. We shouldn’t be ashamed to apologize for them – it shows our kids that everyone makes mistakes.
When I make a mistake during the day, whether it be that I forgot to get juice at the store or that I raised my voice, I apologize.
A few weeks ago, my oldest was being very whiny, argumentative, and just having a bad day. She was ripping toys away from her sister, yelling, and was just acting very out of character. I yelled at her and she stormed away crying to her room.
I felt awful. She felt awful. We both cried. She’s only three and a half years old and she was clearly having a hard time. I went and sat with her and told her I was sorry for yelling. I explained that I was feeling overwhelmed that day, and it wasn’t her fault. She apologized to me and said she was feeling frustrated because her little sister kept ruining the game she was trying to play.
We accepted each other’s apologies, hugged it out, and had a great rest of the day. I was amazed at her ability to own her mistakes and her ability to accept mine. Kids really are remarkable!
Apologizing and accepting and owning our mistakes is an important life skill. Modeling behavior is the best way to show your kids what to do, and saying sorry is not an exception!
What other things do you say to your kids every day? Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and join my email list for more things parenting, motherhood, pregnancy, and more!
