I made some huge parenting mistakes as a first time mom! Learn what I did wrong and what I’ll do differently with my second baby! This is what every first time mom needs to know!
When you first bring your baby home, it’s overwhelming, intimidating, and scary. I remember leaving the hospital with E thinking, “does everyone feel this overwhelmed and scared?!”
The answer is, yes!
And there will be many tears, sleepless nights, and thoughts of self doubt. And that’s OK! You’ll learn as you go!
I made a lot of mistakes when I had Ellie, and I lived and learned.
In fact, I’m still learning every day, and I’m sure that I will learn more and more about parenting every day of my life! I’ve done a few things different on round 2 with Annie, and I’m so glad I did.
Having two under two has had its own set of challenges, but I love every second with my sweet girls! And when we welcome baby number 3, I’m sure I’ll make many more mistakes to learn from.
Every kid is very different!
A is a better sleeper than E was at this age, and I’ve made my life a whole lot easier with a few simple changes to my day and routine.
Some of the mistakes I made I knew I was making and didn’t care at the time, but many of them I had NO idea were bad until I tried to stop them. I hope that I make your life a lot easier by sharing!
Being a parent is constant trial and error. What works for one kid may not work for another, and we constantly have to learn and adapt. But there are a few habits you can form that will make both yours and your child’s life a little easier. I am always sharing these tips with my friends or family that are growing their families, so I decided to compile the list of things I have learned and am doing differently the second time around.
1. Using pacifiers
I am in no way advocating not to use pacifiers. They have been proven to reduce the risk of SIDS, can easily calm a crying baby, and will save your sanity.
However, I let Ellie have them more than she needed them.
She loves her paci, and would have it in her mouth all day if I let her! Even now at 25 months old, she asks for pacifiers during the day when she knows she doesn’t need one.
With Annie, I am only giving her pacifiers at bedtime and in the car. When she turns 1, I’ll take the car pacifier away and she can keep it at bedtime only.
I let E keep it a lot longer than I should have, so she had a hard time soothing herself without one. It can also affect their speech development as they get older, so I will make sure that A doesn’t become dependent on one.
2. Sleep Habits
When you bring that sweet baby home, it’s tempting to lay in bed watching Netflix and cuddle all day. The quiet little sighs of your baby sleeping are addicting.
Trust me, I know how special it is when your baby finally falls fast asleep in your warm embrace.
If you’ve been told to put your baby down “drowsy, but awake” and thought psssshhhhh, no way! So did I!
I made so many sleep mistakes with my oldest.
E didn’t sleep through the night until she was 9 or 10 months old, and that was after following the Ferber method and some rough nights of screaming.
With A, I made sure to put her down drowsy more than I let her fall asleep in my arms or breastfeeding. By 10 weeks old, she was sleeping through the night. Don’t get me wrong, we went thorough all the normal regressions and still have nights where she wakes to eat, but her habits are so much better than E’s.
Rested parents are happy parents, and happy parents raise happy kids.
We LOVEEEEE the swaddle wraps when our babies are little. There’s no worry about which way the blanket will face, worrying about wrapping their arms right, or if they’ll wiggle out of it and be laying with just a blanket.
I also used the Owlet monitor with Annaliese, which helped me sleep better at night.
3. Stressing About Things That Don’t Matter
When I found out I was pregnant with a baby girl, I went crazy to buy beautiful bows, dresses and shoes to doll her up! I bought only organic foods, followed every guideline, kept tight schedules, and drove myself crazy!
If my husband got her dressed her socks didn’t match her outfit and her hair bow, I would change her.
With A, I’m much more relaxed. I realized all of that stuff didn’t matter, and I was wasting precious energy on nit-picky things.
My husband is more willing to help knowing that he isn’t going to fail at something as simple as sock choices, too.
4. Wearing Shoes
This one may seem silly, but this was one of the biggest challenges I had with E when she started walking. I hardly ever put shoes on her as an infant. Why would a baby need shoes?! They can’t walk?!
Well, the problem is when she could walk, she refused to wear shoes. It took months and months to get her used to shoes. At home, no big deal. But when you’re out in public you’re going to want those cute little feet covered! Now she’s obsessed with shoes, but there were many tears and tantrums over wearing them.
We just got some StrideRite shoes for Annie since she is interested in walking so early. They’re great for being supportive and not impairing balance, while also not being slippery like most baby shoes.
5. Take Pictures and Videos of Everything
And I mean, everything!
Their little sighs, cries, their crawl, rolls, their hands and feet…they will look very different in just a few days.
I want to remember everything about my littles being little, and I didn’t take nearly enough pictures and videos of E as a baby.
Looking back, theres a lot I have forgotten about those early sleep deprived days, so I made sure to document everything even more with A. There’s no excuse, cell phone cameras have become amazing and my phone is always next to me. When my kids are off to college (or pursuing whatever dreams they have) I will be so glad to reflect on these times.
You may also like After Baby is Born: What to Expect and How to Prepare and The Honest Truth: What to Expect When Bringing Baby Home.
6. Introducing Cups and Getting Rid of the Bottle Early
This is a sore subject for many, and I get it, it was for me, too. When my pediatrician recommended getting rid of the bottle by 14 months I thought she was crazy! I am so glad I did, though, because when A came around E didn’t care at all about her bottle usage.
E also had a really hard time with sippy cups. She couldn’t suck out of them or use a straw until she was over a year old, which is likely due to the fact she didn’t have much practice on anything but a bottle.
With A, I still give breastmilk through bottles when I’m away, but when we started giving water with meals I gave her a sippy cup.
It’s good practice for her since she is still getting plenty through breastfeeding. It will introduce her to a new cup and get her ready to nix the bottle by the time she’s 12 month old.
There is many, many things that having kids teaches you, but I hope my list of simple mistakes makes your job as a mom or dad a bit easier. Enjoy your kids, soak up every minute, and make your own mistakes to learn from.
