15 Things That Surprised Me About Life After Baby: Best Advice For New Parents

This advice for new parents will tell you some surprising things about life after baby. As a labor nurse and mom of three, I’ll share what has shocked me most about motherhood and surviving with a newborn.

If you’re here, it’s because you want the honest, no bulls** answer to the burning question: what is it REALLY like to go home with a newborn??

You’ve probably heard all of the cliches, and are looking for the good, bad and the ugly of your baby’s first few weeks home.

It’s hard, yes. It’s wonderful, yes. There is truly nothing like being home with your baby. The love you feel for them is overwhelming. This tiny little person is everything you’ve ever wanted and is so much more than you could ever imagine.

But it’s also a lot to take in. Your whole world changed in an instant, and there is a lot of change happening. This is scary, exciting, amazing, and overwhelming.

Just like there were likely things about pregnancy that shocked you, there are plenty of things about postpartum life that will surprise you, too.

This post is loaded with helpful tips the best advice for new moms and dads, and I truly hope it helps you adjust your expectations of life after baby!

*The information and opinions posted on this website are for entertainment purposes only, and are never intended to replace medical advice. The views and opinions on this site do not reflect the opinions and views of any institution I am affiliated with. You should always discuss medical concerns with your doctor. Please see my Terms and Conditions for more information. This post contains affiliate links. This means if a purchase is made using the links on this page, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. This helps keeps These Hungry Kids up and running. Thank you for your support of this site!

The Best Advice for new moms and dads

1. You will be exhausted

No matter if you have a natural birth, c-section, are the second parent, brought your child home through adoption…you will be SO. TIRED.

It’s really hard to comprehend the level of exhaustion until you experience it yourself.

Newborns are a lot of work! You probably thought “as long as they’re fed and have a clean diaper, they will be fine!”

It seems like it should be that simple, and to some degree it is. But newborns also need the attention ALL. THE. TIME.

Newborns don’t care if its 3AM. They don’t care if they were just changed and fed 37 minutes ago. If they need snuggles or warmth, if their belly hurts, if they are a little cold or a little too warm, if they just want to smell you, they need it now.

It’s sweet how much they need you, and it’s an amazing feeling to be able to fulfill those needs for your sweet babe. But it’s a really hard thing to be needed all the time, especially when you feel like your own needs aren’t being met. Take help when it’s offered! Your health and comfort is important, too.

Related Read: How to Get Your Baby To Sleep Through the Night

2. Breastfeeding is a lot of work

Before I had my first baby, I could not comprehend why someone would choose against breastfeeding! About 12 hours in, I was like, “oh, I get it now.”

It’s one of those things you can’t understand until it’s your life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a HUGE proponent of breastfeeding, if it’s what mom wants to do.

I am still breastfeeding my youngest, and I love what breastfeeding has done for me and my family in terms of health benefits, bonding, and saving money on formula. However, I know that it’s a big, big commitment and the decision has to be a personal one.

Sometimes it feels like the baby is feeding for 30 minutes, sleeping for 15 minutes, wakes up with a messy diaper, and then wants to eat again. How are you supposed to get anything done when you only have enough time to pee and eat a snack?!

The answer is: you don’t.

In a way, breastfeeding is nature’s way of forcing you to rest and heal from delivery. It forces you to sit down and snuggle for a little while.

I always tell the second parent that their role in breastfeeding is to be mom’s hands. If mom needs a drink, a snack, a blanket, a pillow, a neck rub…you name it, you do it!

And sometimes all this breastfeeding is boring! If you don’t have a Netflix, Amazon Video, or Kindle account, it’s probably a good time to get one.

Check out these breastfeeding posts:

3. The laundry will pile up, the sink will fill with dishes, the dust bunnies will start collecting in the corners…and that is OK!

It’s truly amazing (and kind of impressive) how much laundry a new baby makes. Between onesies, burp cloths, bibs, jammies, outfits, blankets, sheets, changing pad covers, etc., you will have more laundry than you know what to do with!

But as you read above – you’ll have limited time to do it.

Now is NOT the time to worry about being the perfect housekeeper. Now is the time to soak up your baby’s newborn smell, let them snuggle against your chest, and get to know your little one.

Housework will ALWAYS be there. Your baby will change every day, and it’s not worth missing it to catch up on chores.

When visitors come over and ask what they can do, give them a simple chore! People genuinely want to help, and often don’t know how. And if you allow them to snuggle your sweet one while you take a moment for yourself, everyone will be happy!

4. Prepared is never prepared enough

My best advice for new moms is to over prepare and be ready for anything!

I read all the books, bought all the “essentials,” asked all the right questions…and I STILL had no clue what I was doing.

There are a few things you can never have enough of:

Swaddles – especially these velcro ones, because for whatever reason swaddling was something my hubs could never master. It is also something I don’t want to fuss with at 3am!
Burp cloths
Sleepers (like the one in the Ergobaby pic below!)
Socks (they disappear to a different dimension throughout the day)
Diapers and wipes

Freezer meals are also a great thing to prepare in advance. In especially busy days, you can throw them right into the oven for a healthy and delicious hot meal.

5. Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression are SO real

Everyone experiences the postpartum period a little differently. My advice for new moms is to be very gentle with yourself during this time.

With each baby, I had a period every night where I would cry for no particular reason. Basically from 4-8pm I was a puddle about everything.

I cried because they’re so cute…they smell so good…they were getting so big…the day went too fast…I smell like spit up…I’m so proud of them…their little feet are so perfect…their little hands, too…

You catch my drift. Literally 8:01PM would hit and I’d laugh about all the things I cried about.

That may be a *slight * exaggeration, but you catch my drift. This lasted for a few weeks after delivery, so it was really more of baby blues vs. postpartum depression (PPD).

Postpartum Depression

Typically, postpartum depression occurs when the sadness is extreme, lasts longer than 1-2 weeks after delivery and gets worse over time instead of getting better.

Postpartum depression is extremely common. It’s seriously so normal and you should feel 10000000% OK to discuss it with your provider.

You may be more at risk for PPD if you or a family member has a history of depression or anxiety.

Common symptoms of PPD:

Feelings of anger, worry, guilt
Feeling overwhelmed
Feeling lack of emotion, or feeling consumed by your emotions
Difficulty sleeping
Difficulty bonding with your baby
Poor self esteem
Feelings of hopelessness

signs and symptoms of postpartum depression

Always discuss your feelings with your doctor. There is no shame at all, and they can help you navigate whether your experiencing baby blues vs. postpartum depression.

People often say, “how could I feel this way? I should be so happy! I love my baby so much but I am not OK myself and I feel terrible about that.” You can love your baby to pieces and want to give them the world, and still be experiencing PPD.

It is not something you did wrong, it is not something to be ashamed of, it is your body and mind’s response to the hormonal changes and shock of motherhood.

It will ALL be OK, and again, I urge you to discuss with your doctor or midwife.

6. Bleeding…

It’s really not fair that you have to go through a whole pregnancy and delivery and then basically have a period for the next few weeks.

Pads will be your friend. Don’t get those cute little panty liners where the cheerleader can do flips and tricks in it without leaks on those silly little commercials.

Go for the thick ones, and line up your undies with them! A diaper for baby, a diaper for you, and all is right in the world!

7. You are going to be sore for a while

Sit on a pillow, use lots of ice, lay instead of sit, whatever you have to do… if you did any sort of laboring or pushing your bottom will HURT.

Earth Mama Organics has a great line of natural postpartum products. From nipple butters, to teas, scar creams and perineal spray – their product line is outstanding! Plus, like their name suggests, it’s all organic (and they even have vegan nipple creams!)

I recommend the following things to help postpartum healing:

Dermoplast spray – it is incredibly soothing
Line your undies with THICK pads and on top of that put some Witch Hazel or Tuck’s Pads. It helps with the itching and burning
ICE! Sit on some (designated) frozen peas
Try this: put a few tablespoons of water diaper or pad and squirt some witch hazel on top. Pop it in the freezer until it’s completely frozen. Tuck it in your undies and as the pad or diaper melts it absorbs moisture and you can toss when done.

Ibuprofen and acetaminophen are friends. Take them as your doctor prescribes the first few days so the pain doesn’t sneak up and bite you in the crotch (literally).

I also recommend sticking to super comfortable loungewear. I lived in pajamas like these my first few weeks (ok, maybe months…) after birth.

8. People will invite themselves to your home or to the hospital, and it is OK to say no.

Everyone wants to get a slice of your little babycakes and you don’t have to share. Great Aunt Susan may be knocking on the door, and you don’t have to let her in.

A huge piece of advice for new parents: you are not responsible for making everyone happy!

You’re entitled to your privacy, especially when you have a new baby! You will be bleeding, you will be uncomfortable, and as we already established: you may be experiencing baby blues or postpartum depression and your house will be messy.

This may cause some temporary drama, but let it roll off your shoulders, sis. All you have to say is, “I’m really not up for visitors right now, I’ll let you know when that changes!” And leave it at that.

On the opposite hand, you may wish to show off your baby to everyone! That’s also great.

I will say, it’s hard to know how you will feel after the baby is born. I didn’t think I wanted anyone at the hospital after my first, but I was bored in the hospital room and wanted to show off my beautiful daughter.

It may be worthwhile to tell your family and friends beforehand that you aren’t sure how you’ll feel yet and you will let them know when they can visit.

9. The weight does not just “fall off” like it does in movies.

After birth, everything is sort of…mushy. I felt like my stomach went from a taught balloon to a bowl of bread dough.

When I stood up, it felt like my insides were going to fall to the floor, and I was shocked that even though both my babies were 9+ lbs, I had only lost about 15lbs immediately after they were born.

You may wish to purchase an abdominal binder to help support your belly after baby is born. If you have a c-section, you will probably receive one at the hospital. Your doctor may be able to prescribe one as well.

It can help hold in your gut and keep you from feeling like your uterus is going to fall through your belly button.

If you have a cesarean birth, wearing clothes like this might help your recovery.

mom with baby — Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.

10. The weight may not fall off, but your HAIR will

That lucious mane of hair you grew thanks to your pregnancy hormones and prenatals may start falling out! I have friends who literally had bald spots for a while! If you don’t use a wet brush in the shower, I recommend getting one. You may also want to get a good hair catcher for your shower drain — the last thing you want is a plumbing nightmare.

11. Phantom kicks

OK, this one is weird, but after both of my pregnancies I felt phantom kicks!

It was probably just gas bubbles, but I swear that I felt kicks from the inside after the baby was already born. It’s odd.

12. Phantom cries might haunt you (especially when showering)

So picture this: you’re up with the baby all night, and spent all day with them. You’re exhausted and looking forward to a minute alone to shower and take a nap. You hand off the baby and get in the shower, and all you hear is screaming! But when you go check on him/her, they are peacefully sleeping. The same thing happens when you lay down for a nap!

I don’t know why this happens, but it’s annoying. I’ve asked around and other moms hear it, too!

13. Your baby may never wear any of those expensive, fancy outfits.

Don’t waste too much money on adorable newborn clothes, because you may not ever change them out of their super soft, warm and cozy jammies. The clothes are adorable, sure, but there’s something so sweet about a baby sleepers!

Sleepers are convenient for so many reasons:

It’s easier to change diapers
They wash easier in the laundry
It isn’t as painful to watch them spit up all over them, repeatedly
You don’t have to worry about a blowout ruining their precious outfit

When you do your baby registry, you may want to register for extra onesies and sleepers – you can never have enough!

You may also be interested in Medical Terms to Know Before You Give Birth,Labor and Delivery: Natural vs. Birth with an Epidural and Labor like a Pro: how to rock your labor!

14. The days feel long, but also fly by

You probably hear this one a lot, but that’s because it’s true!

At 9am you’ll think, “HOW IS IT ONLY 9AM. WE’RE ON OUTFIT NUMBER 3, DIAPER NUMBER 18 AND MY COFFEE IS ALREADY COLD.”

And at 5pm you’ll think, “WHERE DID THE DAY GO? Nothing got done, I’m exhausted, and my baby is one day older!!”

My advice for these days: take a ton of pictures and videos. The days blur together and before you know it your baby will look and act completely different! You won’t regret over-documenting this time of life.

15. You’ll miss being pregnant.

I did not believe anyone when they told me this. Who in their right mind misses morning sickness or the pain of the third trimester?

Sure, there were some sweet moments of pregnancy that I cherished, but I hated being uncomfortable and I felt like a puffy whale.

But after the baby was born, they were no longer just mine. I had to share with everyone, and all I wanted was to feel closer to my babe. Soak up every second of your pregnancy because once your baby is on the outside, they aren’t with you every second!

Your bond with your baby throughout the pregnancy is so special, and sometimes it’s hard to let other people have a turn getting to know your little one!

Read about what to expect during your hospital stay here: After Baby is Born: What to Expect and How to Prepare

I know there are many, many things I have forgotten to add to this list, and I’ll probably edit and re-edit this post until I die.

Though everyone’s experience is very different, I hope this post helped give you some no frills, no BS insight into a magical, confusing, exhausting, amazing season of life.

Enjoy every poop-stained moment of your sweet little one.