This is a guest post by Christen of Best Money Mom. To learn more about Christen, read her bio at the end of this post.
I am the mother of 4 daughters, and there are many lessons I want to teach my daughters.
Our house is full of glitter and LOL Dolls and nail polish stuck to the sink.
My girls are 9, 7, 5, and 1-year-old. The question I’m asked most often is “if we were trying for a boy”. The answer to that is “No”.
Nothing against boys, but we are a party of girls (minus my hubby) and that is how we like it.
Being the mother of girls is something very special. Since the moments they each were born, I’ve felt wonder and hope when staring into their beautiful faces.
I wonder what the future holds for each of them. I worry about what state our planet will be in when they are my age.
And, I hope they absorb the life lessons I want to instill in them – and there are plenty of those!
Of course I want them to be kind, and love their bodies, and follow their dreams, but there are also the more gritty, practical lessons I need to teach them. The hard-learned facts I think every girl should know that help make the complicated, wonderful path to womanhood a bit less bumpy.
Here is the shortlist of 7 important lessons I want to pass on to my daughters about growing-up girls.
Don’t Waste Your Time On “That” Guy (or Girl)
We all know the one…the guy who needs you to fix him. The guy who just can’t quite seem to treat you properly yet but “surely will one day if you just stick around”. The guy who will fill you with self-doubt and tears, all the while draining your beautiful spirit.
Don’t waste your time on “that” guy!
Please believe me when I tell you that he will never change. He will never be the person you wish him to be. You are too good for him. Cut your losses and run. Better yet, don’t even give him your number to begin with.
The person you wish ‘he’ was is already out there somewhere. And until the deserving one arrives…no rush. Enjoy your life and accomplish all you can.
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The Mean Girls Will Get What’s Coming
My 9-year-old daughter is just entering the stage when girls can turn mean. One of her “friends” is testing out her powers of control on the other grade 4 girls. Cliques are being formed, and they shift on a daily basis. One day my daughter is in…the next day, who knows?
I remember the hurt and confusion this time can cause in a girl’s life. I tell her my own stories.
I try to teach her empathy – bullies are usually mean because they suffer their own hurt.
But, sometimes not! Sometimes people just enjoy pulling the strings of another person’s heart.
So, my daughters, give your friendship to those who are kind. And also, stand-up for yourself. Stand-up for the other kids the bullies are after.
The mean-girls may rule the schoolyard now, but trust me, the mean-girls posse will grow up and grow wise. No future friends are flocking to a mean-adult’s side.
Stop Saying “Sorry”
This lesson may fly in the face of my cultural affiliations – we’re Canadian, but stop saying “sorry” my girls.
There is no need to apologize for forgetting the answer or spilling your juice or winning the race ….and never, ever, apologize for being right.
Your male counterparts aren’t sorry for the little things.
If your actions were unintentional, didn’t hurt another human being, or cause property damage, you probably don’t need to apologize for them.
Take What You Are Owed
I’m not encouraging my kids to be greedy, little monsters, but I’ve noticed my girls standing back in some situations waiting for what they want to be given to them.
For example, snack time on the soccer field. Two of my girls will wait in the background while the popsicles are being handed out, waiting for an adult to offer them one.
Yes, it’s good to be polite, but you ran hard during the soccer match, you are an important part of the team, so step forward and get your hands on your favourite cherry-red freezie. You earned it!
In life, my little ladies, speaking up for what you want and fighting for what you deserve is how you succeed. And while you’re at it, grab your girlfriends by the arms and bring them to the table too.
Other posts by Christen:
How To Make A Budget For A Big Family
7 Ways Practicing Yoga Makes Me A Better Mom
Smart Ways To Save Money On Back To School Expenses
Approach Life Like An Adventure
My girls and I like to go hiking in the woods. With my littlest one strapped to my chest in her baby carrier, the older three run ahead of us unbounded. They climb trees, wade into the streams, and climb up the steepest slopes.
This fearlessness and desire to explore are qualities I hope they keep throughout their lives.
I want them to approach the world and its upcoming challenges like an adventure. Every serious explorer has their fair share of obstacles, but don’t be dissuaded, my lovelies – take risks and great rewards will follow.
Once You Begin Colouring Your Hair, It’s Hard To Quit
How many of us women who colour our hair regularly even know what our natural colour is anymore? I know I don’t!
It used to be a gorgeous, fairytale blonde. Now it’s blonde from a bottle. That’s okay, my colourist does a good job. However, I started experimenting through a revolving rainbow of hair dyes when I was a teenager and haven’t looked back.
My lifetime salon bill is probably in the 5-digits.
So when my girls no doubtebly will want to experiment with changing the colour of their own locks, I want them to know what they are in for.
Maybe just some temporary streaks until they are older and wiser.
They Are Loved
Here is where my sentimental side kicks in because in my heart I am foremost the mother of girls So my girls, whichever paths you take in life, know that I will always love you. I’m in your corner no matter what.
I love the girls you are now, and the women you will become.
I will love you through all your successes and your mistakes. Womanhood is a wonderful, sometimes scary, adventure. So be bold and know that I’ll always have your backs.
Christen Grozelle is the owner of Best Money Mom, a personal finance and parenting blog for women. A former Canadian national news reporter turned elementary school teacher, she dives into topics such as investment ideas for women, creating a family budget, and planning your maternity leave. You can follow her on Facebook or Pinterest.
