This is exactly how I potty trained my 2 year old girl! This easy potty training method puts the child in control. Child-led potty training is great for stubborn children like my 2 year old!
Potty training at 2 years old is not always simple! Everyone wants to know how to potty train the easy way, but there are endless theories and techniques.
This is going to sound absolutely insane…but my 2 year old daughter potty trained herself.
Yep, you read it!
One day she said to me,
“Mama, I no wear diapers. I go on potty now.”
We stared blankly at each other for a few moments and I said:
Ok…let’s go on the potty!
I kid you not, for the first few weeks we had almost NO accidents. And the accidents we did have were when she couldn’t get undressed fast enough and she tinkled a little in her undies.
Within this post, you’ll learn exactly how I potty trained my two year old daughter with ease!
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So, you’re probably wondering, how did you get her ready for potty training at 2 years old?
You can’t potty train a child that isn’t ready to potty train. Instead, you’re just going to cause frustration and power struggles. You may even make your child scared of the potty!
Signs your child is ready for potty training
- Your child can identify when they have to pee or poop
- Your child tells you when they have soiled their diaper
- Keeping a dry diaper for long periods of time
- Showing interest in the toilet
- Showing interest in other people using the toilet
- Talking about the potty
- Your child does not want to wear diapers anymore
- Your child can tell you when they are going pee or poop
*Your child may display all or just some of these traits to show they are ready to potty train
Starting the potty training conversation
We started the conversations about the potty at about 18 months old, and when she was ready she went for it!
When she was around 18 months old, she started expressing interest in the potty.
She told me when she was going to go in her diaper, would tell me if it was “tinkles” or “poo poo,” and would promptly want her diaper changed.
I thought, oh boy…here I am with a newborn, and my 18 month old is showing signs she’s ready to potty train?!
We gave it a try for a few days, and she ultimately wasn’t ready. I took her to Target and let her pick out some Moana underwear, a potty seat, and a treat for when she went potty.
Here and there she’d ask to go potty, but I never ever put pressure on her. I left it completely in her control.
Every single time I’d change her diaper I’d say:
Ellie, if you ever want to go on the potty, you just have to let me know. Once you start going on the potty, you don’t have to wear a diaper anymore. You can wear your Moana undies! Let me know if you ever want to try!
She would always respond, “Ok, mama!” and go on her way.
Then one day, she simply said, “mama, I no wear diapers. I go on potty now.”
That was it, folks! She decided she was ready, and we got started.
This was the easiest, no tears way to prepare my child for potty training and put her in control of her own body.
What can you do if your child isn’t ready to potty train?
If your child isn’t ready yet, there is no need to force it! Everyone is ready at their own time. You can encourage readiness by:
- Talking about using the toilet when you go (example: “I’m going to the bathroom now because I have to pee! I don’t wear a diaper, so I need to sit on the toilet to go pee.”)
- Talking about it when you change your child’s diaper (example: “I see you went poop! I go poop on the potty. If you want to try pooping on the potty next time, tell me before you have to go and you can go on the potty, too!”
- Making elimination seem normal and acceptable
- Reading books about potty training
Potty training books
Here are some great books bout potty training! Reading to your child about potty training reinforces that it’s normal and an OK thing to try. If you can find a potty training book with a character your child loves, that’s even better!
- A Potty For Me! By Karen Katz
We personally used this book. It’s a lift-the-flap book and discusses how you feel when you need to go and use the potty! - Dino Potty
With a cute dinosaur, this rhyming book talks about exactly what to expect when going potty. - P is for Potty (Sesame Street)
Any Elmo lovers out there? This life-the-flap book will interest your little Elmo-loving potty-trainer. - Daniel’s Potty Time (Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood)
Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is one of my favorite children’s shows. This book follows along with the episode to make potty training easy.
Why I chose Child-led potty training
Simply put, I want my daughter to feel like she is in control of her own body.
She is a strong willed child, so I need to respect her personality when raising her!
I did not set a timer for 30 minutes and make her sit, I did not make her sit on one potty or another… I let her lead the way entirely.
This is an unconventional potty training method
I know this is against a lot of “common” potty training methods. You’ll read over and over again to set a timer for 30 minutes, offer lots of praise and reward, let them run around without a diaper on, etc.
That method works GREAT for many people. But if you are trying to potty train a stubborn, independent child like my Ellie, that probably will turn into a series of meltdowns and power struggles.
Giving your child control over their body is a great tool to teach them, and it can start with potty training.
You may also like:
–71 Indoor Activities for Kids
–Why Your Child Needs Sensory Play
–Screen-free Toddler Activities
I never made potty training a power struggle
And I think that’s why it was so easy!
If she tells me she has to go, I trust her. Sometimes she insists she has to go just minutes after she’s already gone, but I let her try anyways.
And I also trust her if she says she doesn’t have to go.
If I noticed that she hadn’t gone potty in awhile, I’d suggest she go by saying something like:
Before we do that activity, why don’t we try sitting on the potty!
While your lunch is heating up, let’s go tinkles.
Are you starting to feel like you have to go potty??
Make sure you let someone know if you feel like you have to use the potty.
Most of the time she would agree to go, but if she flat-out refused to, I would say, “OK, but you may have to go potty soon. Let me know when you’re ready.”
Does this mean we have accidents sometimes? Sure! But if I dragged her to the toilet against her will, she would not go. I tried it a few times, and it was apparent that she was not going to use the toilet if it wasn’t on her terms
Potty training tip: give your child choices when potty training!
Potty training can feel very overwhelming to children. What comes naturally to us as adults is actually a huge transition for toddlers.
Giving choices reinforces that your child has control! It’s also one of my favorite ways to encourage my children to eat healthy meals.
We have three bathrooms in our house, and we let her pick out a super special potty seat! When it’s time to go potty, we say “which potty do you want to use?!” and she will excitedly pick one!
We also made a special trip to the best place on Earth (Target, obviously) to pick out “fancy underwear.”
She now gets to pick between Moana, Frozen, assorted Disney princesses, and unicorns or mermaid undies every morning. I always say, “wow, these are really great underwear! We’ll have to be really careful not to have an accident in these undies!”
What kind of potty seat is best for potty training?
Potty seats that go over the toilet seat are great because they get your child used to the big potty, while still making it child sized.
These Mickey and Minnie Mouse ones are less than $13 a piece, which is a bargain if it means your child is using the big toilet!
Not only does it make for easier cleanup, but it will be easier to transition to using public restrooms or the toilet without the seat when the time comes.
Some toddlers are afraid of using the big potty! A smaller potty that sits on the floor like this may be beneficial.
Toddlers love to express their autonomy at this age, and by giving choices you are acknowledging that they are capable of making decisions! It makes a huge difference in their attitude about potty training.
How I handled accidents when potty training my 2 year old
I try very hard not to embarrass or shame my daughter. Most of our accidents happened out of the house (one time at my in-laws she had THREE accidents!!) and it can be really embarrassing.
Trying very hard to keep my cool, I’d bring her into the bathroom quietly and tell her that she can always tell an adult if she has to go potty, and we’re going to have to go clean up her mess.
Whenever she has accidents, we change back into underwear (not a diaper! Diapers are not punishment!) and I would hand her a towel to clean the mess. When she was finished, I would tell her thank you and then finish cleaning the mess.
Accidents and potty training regressions are normal
Try not to get overwhelmed or worked up! Potty trainign regressions and accidents are normal!
The most important thing: don’t yell or scream, and try not to make a huge deal of it! You don’t want your child to start having accidents as an easy way to get attention, or as a way to assert their authority over yours.
I will say, we rarely had accidents. If we did have accidents, it was because we were out of our normal environment where she didn’t want to take a break because she was having so much fun. For the most part, she knew to go on the potty or tell someone to take her!
I am confident in her ability to use the potty, and it projects onto her as well!
What to do if your child is scared of the potty
Potty training is a big deal to toddlers. Here are some tips to help!
Acknowledge their fears
Just like adults, toddlers want to be heard. Acknowledge that potty training can seem scary, but that once you get used to it, it isn’t so scary after all!
Role Play
Does your child have a favorite stuffed animal or doll?
Practice potty training with a favorite toy!
You can start by entering your child’s imaginative space and discuss using the potty with the toy. Ask your child to help you bring the toy to the potty! After your toy is finished, offer lots of praise and talk with your child about how the toy used the potty.
Bring your child to the bathroom with you
It may seem a bit awkward, but toddlers want to model adult behavior. Bring your child with you to the bathroom so they can see how it’s done!
Try a small training potty
A cute little training potty can help if the big toilet is too intimidating.
It looks like an adult toilet which can help your little one get used to the look and feel of a potty, but it’s the perfect size for a toddler!
It has a built-in splash guard to prevent any spillage as your little one learns to sit on the potty. It’s small enough that your child can get on and off it independently (and feeling independent and proud is a huge thing at this age!)
It even has a little handle to practice flushing with! I mean, how cute is that!!
The reviews on this bad boy are overwhelmingly positive — this is a really great option for people who don’t have a potty on every level of their home, or if your child is afraid of using a large toilet.
You can order it from Amazon here (and if you aren’t a Prime member yet, sign up for a FREE 30 day trial!
Small toilets like these are great to keep in the car, too! This is one of my favorite mom hacks. There will inevitably come a time when you are out somewhere and don’t have immediate access to the bathroom – keep a potty in the car and you won’t get stuck with wet undies!
Pro tip: put a diaper in the bottom of the pot to catch the pee and throw it in the garbage when you’re done. Easy peasy!
Remember, potty training is a learned skill, and it takes a lot of practice! Offer a lot of praise, don’t make a huge stink about accidents, and within no time it will be mastered.
Every child is different, and there is no “one size fits all” for potty training. The best you can do is take bits and pieces from everywhere and make a plan that works for your family. It may take some trial and error – but what doesn’t?!
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Good luck, and happy toilet training!
This is brilliantly simple! Once you start treating your kids like a grown up, talk to them, and teach them, they learn quickly. Great article, going to share with others!
Thank you so much Sabika! That’s exactly right – our kids are little people, and they will be much more confident and empowered adults if we treat them like the people they are! 💕
Agree. Training little people with give you a hard time some times but when you start treating them as if they are old enough to handle a responsibility, they start doing great.